I remember sitting on a bus in Atlanta, staring out the window, my stomach in knots. I had just landed for a leadership conference, a trip I couldn’t afford but knew I had to take. I was broke. Like, protein-bars-in-my-luggage broke. Divorce and my daughter’s cancer treatment had wiped me out financially and emotionally. But deep down, I knew something had to change.

This trip was a leap of faith. It was the first time I had left my daughter since her treatment. The mom guilt was intense. But I also knew that if I wanted to turn my business—and my life—around, I had to put myself in the room with people who were already where I wanted to be. It wasn't the first time I had inconvenienced myself for success.

Years earlier, when I started my first business in my early 20s, I knew nothing about business. No formal training. No fancy degree. Just a fire in my belly and the willingness to learn. I drove an hour each way (plus tolls) every week to attend training led by women who were ahead of me. I invested my own money—money I barely had—into courses, conferences, and mentorship.

And guess what? It worked.

The Investment Most People Never See

Here’s what no one talks about: Top leaders work on themselves first. Success isn’t just about strategies or the latest marketing hack. It’s about mindset. It’s about resilience. It’s about becoming the kind of person who can handle success when it arrives.

Most people never see the years of time and money I’ve poured into my own development. The early morning journaling sessions, the books stacked on my nightstand, the late-night deep dives into industry research. The online courses. The conferences where I sat in the back of the room, feverishly taking notes, praying for that one insight that would change everything.

It’s like watching an Olympian win a gold medal. We see the podium moment, the celebration. But what we don’t see? The 5:30 AM training sessions. The sacrifices. The relentless commitment to becoming the best version of themselves before they ever step onto the world stage.

Want to Grow Your Business? Grow You First

If you’re feeling stuck—whether it’s in business, leadership, or life—ask yourself:

When was the last time you invested in your growth?

And I don’t just mean money. Sure, investing in courses, coaches, and conferences is important, but investment also looks like time. Are you carving out space in your day to read, reflect, or develop new skills? Are you actively learning, or are you hoping things will magically change without effort?

I used to think success would just happen to me if I worked hard enough. But I realized hard work alone wasn’t enough—I needed to be intentional about my growth. I started reading personal development books even when my attention was being pulled in a hundred other directions. I took online courses, even when I was exhausted at the end of the day. I attended conferences before I ever felt “ready.” Growth is an intentional choice, not an accident.

Are you surrounding yourself with people who are ahead of you?

This one is huge. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. Success isn’t just about what you know; it’s about who you learn from.

On that bus in Atlanta, I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I didn’t just need motivation—I needed to see real-life examples of women who had been there and figured it out. So, I got in the room. I flew to a leadership conference with money I didn’t have, roomed with strangers who felt bad for me and let me crash their room so I'd have roommates, and soaked up every bit of wisdom I could. That decision changed everything.

Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are you having conversations that challenge you to think bigger? Are you learning from people who have already done what you’re trying to do? Or are you stuck in circles where everyone complains but no one actually grows? (Not sure how to find your community? Check out Hey Girl You Can and join mine!)

Are you putting in the work when no one is watching?

It’s easy to want the results. It’s harder to commit to the process. The truth is, success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally—it comes from what you do consistently.

We live in a world that glorifies the “highlight reel.” We see people celebrating big wins, but we don’t see the sacrifices behind the scenes. No one sees the late nights studying, the failures, the rejections, or the self-doubt you have to push through.

I’ve had to do the hard work alone, in the quiet moments when no one was cheering me on. When no one was validating my efforts. When it felt like I was making no progress at all. But those moments? That’s where growth happens. That’s where confidence is built. That’s where leaders are made.

There Isn't a Finish Line

And guess what? There is never is a finish line (or if there is one it's the grave so let's not rush to get to it!) I still do all these things. I still force myself to put on my meditation music. Force myself to listen to that audio book instead of music in the car. Force myself to not pick up my phone first thing in the morning so I'm not in reaction the rest of the day. It's a daily choice not a one time and I'm done decision.

I always say, if you want to grow your business, start with growing you. The best investment you’ll ever make isn’t in the latest software, marketing funnel, or social media trend. It’s in yourself. Because the stronger you are, the stronger your business, your leadership, and your impact will be. (That's what we do in Hey Girl You Can. We focus on growing you first. Stepping into your best self. Showing up different in the world... the way you were always meant to.)

So take the class. Buy the book. Go to the event—even if it means packing protein bars and saying a little prayer on the way. Your future self will thank you.

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